healing From Our Past to grow Our Future

When Cancer Brings Your Past to the Surface

Cancer has a way of pulling everything forward.

Guilt.
Shame.
Fear.
Frustration.
Self-deprecating thoughts.
Old internal dialogues we were quietly allowing to live rent-free inside of us.

Suddenly, they are center stage.

Some people begin to wonder:

“Is this happening because of something I did?”
“Am I being punished?”
“Do I deserve this?”

Let me say this clearly: cancer is not a moral consequence.

But when we carry unresolved shame, it can look for somewhere to attach itself. And a diagnosis can become the place it lands.

Many of us have things in our past we are not proud of. Choices we made when we were younger, scared, misinformed, or desperate for approval, love, validation, or security.

Sometimes we took shortcuts.
Sometimes we went against our values.
Sometimes we did what we believed we needed to survive.

And then we buried it.

We shoved the shame down.
We never spoke of it.
We silently judged ourselves.

That buried shame can turn into chronic stress, harsh inner dialogue, and deeply rooted beliefs that whisper:

“You’re not worthy.”
“You don’t deserve good things.”
“You did this to yourself.”

Those beliefs are heavy.
And they impact our Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual state — our MES.

It may be time to bring that MES to the surface. Not to punish yourself. But to heal.

You are not the same person today as the person who made those choices.

You have grown.
You have learned.
You have evolved.

A Piece of My Story

I want to share something I have never spoken publicly before.

There was a time in my life when I believed my worth was tied to my appearance. I made choices rooted in the belief that beauty was my currency and that success required performance.

Those choices did not bring the fulfillment I thought they would. They left me carrying deep shame.

But today, I look back at that version of myself with compassion.

She was scared.
She was navigating a world that placed value on appearance over intelligence.
She was doing what she believed she needed to do at the time.

Healing came when I stopped condemning her — and started understanding her.

Healing our past is not about excusing behavior. It is about integrating it. Learning from it. Releasing the identity attached to it.

When we do that, something shifts physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Cancer is more than physical. It impacts the whole being — our MES.

And sometimes the work is not just fighting cells in the body, but healing narratives in the mind.

Here is a powerful question to ask yourself:

“If the old version of me were sitting beside me asking for forgiveness… what would I say?”

Be honest.

If anger comes up — that’s part of grief.
If sadness comes up — that’s part of compassion.
If love comes up — that’s growth.

Your past self does not need condemnation.
Your present self needs freedom.

I encourage you to begin healing the relationship you have with who you were — so you can fully support who you are becoming.

And if you need a safe space to unpack it all — without judgment, without shame — I am here.

Just a click away.

Sending love,
Laura